If you are a student, there is a separate guide written for you: What to Do If You Are Being Bullied at School.

If you have just found out (or you suspect) that your child is being bullied, it is normal to feel angry and helpless at the same time. This guide is written for parents and for anyone raising a child in the Philippines, including grandparents, aunts, uncles, and older siblings looking after a child while a parent works abroad.

Bullying is common in Filipino schools. In the 2022 PISA survey of 15-year-olds, the Philippines had the highest bullying rate of the 80 countries that took part, with about three in four students reporting at least one incident in the past year. The rules have changed recently too. DepEd revised its anti-bullying rules in 2025 and set stricter penalties in a 2026 order, so schools now have clearer duties, and you have more to point to when you ask a school to act.

Signs to watch for

Many children never say it out loud, sometimes because they are embarrassed and sometimes because they are afraid that telling will make it worse. These are some of the signs parents most often notice:

Any one of these on its own can mean many things. A pattern that lasts more than a week or two is worth asking about.

How to ask about it

Pick a calm moment rather than the minute they walk in the door. If you can, talk side by side (on a walk, in the car, or while cooking together), which feels less like an interview than sitting face to face. Start with something open:

If they tell you, your reaction in the first minute will shape how much they tell you later. Stay as calm as you can, thank them, and believe them. Then ask for details: what happened, who was involved, where, and since when. Something like this helps:

"Thank you for telling me. You didn't do anything to deserve this. I am going to help you, and I won't do anything at school without telling you first."

That last promise matters, because many children hide bullying out of fear that a parent will go to the school and make it worse. You can keep a promise to tell them first. Don't promise to keep it secret, though, because you may need to report it.

What to avoid

A few common reactions tend to backfire.

Telling them to fight back. It is an understandable thing to say, and it usually makes things worse. A child that fights back can be disciplined too, and the bullying often gets more serious.

Confronting the other child or their family yourself. Even when it feels justified, it can make your child a bigger target, and it makes the case harder for the school to handle. Push the school to act instead, and push hard if it is slow.

Asking what they did to cause it. Even a gentle "Did you say something to them first?" can sound like blame to a child that is already ashamed. If your child played some part in a conflict, that can be sorted out later, once they feel safe.

Taking away their phone because they were bullied online. To a child, this feels like being punished for being the target, and the usual result is that they stop telling you what happens online.

How to report it to the school

Under DepEd's revised rules, every public and private school must have an anti-bullying policy, include it in the student handbook, and post it where people can see it. Every school is also supposed to name a Learner Formation Officer, a staff member whose job is to respond first when bullying is reported. These steps help your report go somewhere.

Write down the facts first. List each incident with the date, the place, what happened, who was involved, and who saw it. Save screenshots of anything online, with names and dates visible.

Ask for the school's anti-bullying policy. It tells you who handles reports, what the steps are, and how a decision can be appealed.

Report it in writing. Talk to the adviser or the Learner Formation Officer, and then send a short letter or email that sums up what you told them, so there is a dated record. Keep a copy. A few lines is enough:

"My child, [name] of [grade and section], has been bullied by [name, if known] since [when]. The incidents include [brief list]. I am reporting this under the school's anti-bullying policy, and I would like to know who is handling it, what happens next, and what the school will do to keep my child safe in the meantime."

Ask about safety right away. While the case is being looked into, ask what the school will do to protect your child (for example, a seat change, supervision at recess and dismissal, or a staff member your child can go to).

Follow up in writing if you hear nothing. A polite email after a few school days, referring to your first letter, keeps the record going.

In public schools, DepEd's 2026 order on safe schools (DepEd Order No. 006, s. 2026) also sets penalties for the student doing the bullying. They range from a written reprimand and counseling for minor cases to suspension and a referral to the DSWD for repeated bullying or online harassment, and the other child's parents are notified at every level. You do not need to ask for a particular penalty. Your letters will usually do the most good if they stick to what happened and to your child's safety.

If you want something practical to work from, sign up and I will send three short guides, including one written for the adults supporting a shy or anxious young person. Send me the guides →

If the school does not act

Schools have been uneven about this. In July 2026, the congressional education commission (EDCOM 2) reported that many schools still had not named a Learner Formation Officer or adopted their own anti-bullying policy. If your report goes nowhere, these are the next steps:

If it is happening online

Cyberbullying is covered by the same rules, and schools can act on it when it involves their students. Save screenshots that show names and dates, report and block the accounts on the platform, and give copies to the school with your report. If anyone threatens your child, or shares (or threatens to share) private images of them, report it to the police as well as the school.

Helping your child at home

Help them have at least one friend at school. Research on bullying has found that children with a good friend are better protected (one well-known study on this was titled "The Power of Friendship"). You cannot make friends for your child, but you can make it easier. Say yes when they want a classmate over, help them join one club, org, sport, or church youth group that meets every week, and cover the fare or snack money that makes it possible to go. Our guide on helping your teen make friends goes into this in more detail.

Practice what to say. Children that freeze in the moment do better with a short line ready ("Stop. I mean it.") and a plan to walk toward an adult. Practicing it out loud at home a few times makes it much easier to use when it counts.

Keep the rest of life going. Time with family and with people that treat your child well matters more while school feels bad, and so do the things your child is good at.

Watch their mood. If your child seems hopeless, stops eating or sleeping normally, or says anything about not wanting to be alive, get help that day. Talk to the guidance counselor or a doctor, or call the National Center for Mental Health crisis line (free, 24 hours) at 1553 from a Luzon landline, or 0917-899-8727 or 0966-351-4518 (Globe and TM) and 0908-639-2672 (Smart, Sun, and TNT).

If your child is willing to read something themselves, our guide for students covers the same ground from their side, including what to say in the moment and how to report it. Reading it together can make the next conversation easier.